Lauri’s Blog:

Today, one of the decorators who works with my firm was telling me about the interior refinement consultation she’d had this morning with a married couple who could not agree on how their home should be redesigned. To say that the woman and her husband had “words” is, apparently, an understatement. At one point, the decorator had to, literally, put herself in between the two of them, put up her hands and say, “Okay, please stop! We can work this out so that you are both happy!”  By the time she left they were laughing and joking about the whole thing. You can imagine that this is not an uncommon scenario but one that all of us who work at Use What You Have encounter quite regularly. “He” wants what he wants and “she” wants something totally different.

And, if you have read any of my books, you may have been introduced to some of these couples, read about their stories and have seen some of their homes in before and after photos.(Here are the Shearers’ and their living room, before, and then 2 hours later, from my book, Home Therapy.)

Some women don’t tell their husbands that they’ve hired us (”Sssshh! If you call, say you are a friend!”) At the end of the day, when the DH returns home, the women just say they had a sudden burst of inspiration and, viola!, “Look at how much better things look, honey!” Others hire us specifically to mediate. They arrange their schedules so that they both can be there to participate and express their separate views.

If you and your mate seem to disagree about the way your home should be decorated, here are a few simple principles that may help you:

1) Realize that, overall, men and women have very different mindsets about decorating: Men are mostly interested in comfort and leaving things as they are; women are primarily concerned with aesthetics and keep up with trends. Give men a comfy place to sit, put up their feet and watch TV and they are pretty much done. Conversely, women are usually concerned that their entire home look “pretty” or they are not satisfied. Can you relate to this? In fact, both are necessary for a well-designed home. In order for any room to look good, it needs to be comfortable and aesthetically pleasing.

2) For example, “his” modern black leather sofa can work with your linen/chenille chairs with two caveats: First, that the scale and the height of the pieces are uniform. (High chairs with a low sofa create a roller coaster - a big no-no!) And, second, that the fabric on the chairs be made into 2 throw pillows for the sofa, in order to tie things together.

3) Keep patterns to a minimum and, instead, bring in different textures for interest. This will help make the space feel more tranquil, and, not look visually chaotic. Chances are, you will also have fewer disagreements in making selections.

4) Be sure there is good reading light in every room (i.e. pairs of lamps, and not just overhead lighting) so that the two of you can both read at the same time.

5) Relax and have fun. It’s only furniture.